- Whenever you let one slip out, you have no shame, and actually feel damn proud of it.
2) You either date a like-minded guy who’s learned to accept and embrace your ways…
3) …Or any guy dumb enough to hit on you is mincemeat.
4) You feel goddess AF as a strong, independent woman who don’t need no razor.
5) When you put on ANYTHING other than sweatpants, you’re like
6) Anytime you watch a makeup tutorial on Youtube, you’ve never been more confused in your life.
For that matter, instead of shooting some lipstick out of a tube….
7) You dream of shooting some missiles out of a cannon.
8) But hey, different kicks for different chicks, and different scenes for different queens.
- Your budget in September
Your budget in November
2) Your sleep cycle in September
Your sleep cycle in November
3) Hopes for your GPA in September
Hopes for your GPA in November
4) Your weekend plans in September
Your weekend plans in November
5) How you maintain your dorm in September
How you maintain your dorm in November
6) Suggesting that your squad all get Starbucks/Chipotle in September OR November
- When gawking over dream additions to your cosmetic collection, heaven in a tube/palette pops up on the home page, making your pupils dilate and your heart rate speed up.
2. Whether the Nutcracker Sweet Holiday pigments or the Sugar Lip Entourage, you’ll spend whatever you got and race for it!!
3.Your bf/brother/dad insists that you already have an outrageously huge makeup supply. Fella, YOU HAVE 2 SECONDS TO TAKE BACK WHAT YOU JUST SAID!
4. It then hits you that your budget is desperately needed for student loans.
5. Being embarrassed to have to swallow pride, you act like you’re pondering this glossy/shimmery life-affecting decision.
6. Wait! You recover hope at the sight of a relieving miracle in the form of a paycheck.
7. DAYUM I AM SOOOO FLEEK AND I’M ROCKING THE LATEST SHADES.
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2. Semester grades are posted
3. I’m his other girlfriend
4. Last day of break
5. One percent battery left
6. Baby’s diaper…your turn
7. 4 people, 3 donuts
8. Can’t print: no ink
9. Assigned partner–“that” person
10. She’s hearing your judgments
- FYI, Halloween is just not worth the nightmares, soiled pants, and sore-@$$ throat from screaming,
I’m asking G-d politely for a remote to fast-forward through this excruciating season.
2) When my besties hit up the roller coasters, totally…will I hold everyone’s bags!!
I know it’s “awesome,” but I’ll pass on being relentlessly thrashed all over the place.
3) Gym/PE class is a load of stupidity that was obviously created to torture me.
Whoever first chose to make agony part of my education is an unforgivable jerk, so whoever makes gym/PE class illegal is a worshippable hero.
4) Yes, I know and agree getting a shot is vital to my health, but needles are the most traumatizing thing in the world.
For the final time, I understand the helpful medical purposes, but I’ll take my chances to avoid having that sharp f**ker poked through my skin.
5) Bullies, especially in boy-on-boy situations, spent no time at all deciding on a victim,
Speaking from girl experience, the NON-physical but still bitchy alternative is nothing new to me.
6) Ehhh, no big deelio though!!! Call me “chicken” all you want, but that’s just how I roll…and better safe than sorry :-p
1) When all your best buds ask you where you got your awesomeness from.
2) When you sneak that very last spoonful of Nutella from that shared jar.
3) When your literature prof hands back a legit unfair essay grade that dropped by a full letter for “not being coherent.”
4) When your mom asks how soon you’ll get your own place, find a partner, and start a J-O-B.
5) If someone ever asks if you want a free trip to the Bahamas instead of going to your 9-to-5.
6) When you gain 5 pounds and your jeans won’t button anymore
7) When your alarm clock blares on Monday morning to bear the tragic news: “No more weekend.”
All hail Miss Velvet Von Black!
1) Hehehehe, god forbid these pictures of two large 5-year-olds end up on Facebook.
2) If that b*tch be infringing on yo territory
3) If the moment feels oh sooooo right, but the timing is OH SOOOOOO WRONG.
4) Big Pointer #1: Younger siblings (if applicable) are totally a legit must-have for romance.
5) Um, bae…shouldn’t we talk about that first?
6) And then if you luck gets really shitty…
But no matter how awry it gets, you’re always each other’s badass hero and dynamite gal.