Toons, They're Just Like Us!

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2. Semester grades are posted

3. I’m his other girlfriend

4. Last day of break

5. One percent battery left

6. Baby’s diaper…your turn

7.    4 people, 3 donuts

8. Can’t print: no ink

9. Assigned partner–“that” person

10. She’s hearing your judgments

 

 

1. FYI, Halloween is just not worth the nightmares, soiled pants, and sore-@$$ throat from screaming,

I’m asking G-d politely for a remote to fast-forward through this excruciating season.

2) When my besties hit up the roller coasters, totally…will I hold everyone’s bags!!

I know it’s “awesome,” but I’ll pass on being relentlessly thrashed all over the place.

3) Gym/PE class is a load of stupidity that was obviously created to torture me.

Whoever first chose to make agony part of my education is an unforgivable jerk, so whoever makes gym/PE class illegal is a worshippable hero.

4) Yes, I know and agree getting a shot is vital to my health, but needles are the most traumatizing thing in the world.

For the final time, I understand the helpful medical purposes, but I’ll take my chances to avoid having that sharp f**ker poked through my skin.

5) Bullies, especially in boy-on-boy situations, spent no time at all deciding on a victim,

Speaking from girl experience, the NON-physical but still bitchy alternative is nothing new to me.

6) Ehhh, no big deelio though!!! Call me “chicken” all you want, but that’s just how I roll…and better safe than sorry :-p

1) When all your best buds ask you where you got your awesomeness from.

2) When you sneak that very last spoonful of Nutella from that shared jar.

3) When your literature prof hands back a legit unfair essay grade that dropped by a full letter for “not being coherent.”

4) When your mom asks how soon you’ll get your own place, find a partner, and start a J-O-B.

5) If someone ever asks if you want a free trip to the Bahamas instead of going to your 9-to-5.

6) When you gain 5 pounds and your jeans won’t button anymore

7) When your alarm clock blares on Monday morning to bear the tragic news: “No more weekend.”

All hail Miss Velvet Von Black!

1) Hehehehe, god forbid these pictures of two large 5-year-olds end up on Facebook.

2) If that b*tch be infringing on yo territory

3) If the moment feels oh sooooo right, but the timing is OH SOOOOOO WRONG.

4) Big Pointer #1: Younger siblings (if applicable) are totally a legit must-have for romance.

5) Um, bae…shouldn’t we talk about that first?

6) And then if you luck gets really shitty…

But no matter how awry it gets, you’re always each other’s badass hero and dynamite gal.

1) I’m bored AF. Roomies went home this weekend, and no crap to be done.

2) Scratch that, there IS crap so to speak, which is WHY the roomies raced home.

3) My pad’s floor is pretty much an obstacle-course-turned-death-trap.

4) OMG, no assignment will be half as nightmarish as purging my crib of all these safety/health hazards

5) Okey dokey, cleaning. We obvs hate each other’s guts, but it’s time for a showdown. so let’s get crack-a-lackin’!

6) If I can first de-clutter the floor to get my ass from my bed to my desk to my closet in one piece, I’m golden.

7) Oh wow, *finally* found my old Walkman from…like…a million years ago.

8) And…embarrassing photos at the bar with my drunken ex from ’09. #Awkward

9) Now I gotta get my bathroom from scum bucket to sparkletopia. From growdy to gorgeous. From reeky to radiant.

10) No way, my place has now pulled a total 180. I’m in a totally different universe than I was an hour ago.

11) Hallelujah! This new universe already feels like paradise 😀 Next on my list: #TreatMyself

1) First, you and your gal pals are like “OMG who’s that hottie in the corner?”

2) After a few chats with him, your feelings get the best (or worst!) of you, so you confess rather boldly.

3) When you overhear that he’ll be at that party Saturday night, you’re giving yourself the ultimate makeover.

4) At the same time, you just wanna play it cool like it’s no big deal.

5) When you see him on the dance floor, you think you’re moving like this…

6) …But you’re actually moving like THIS.

7) Uh oh, his IPhone’s buzzing and he’s like, “Gotta take this. It’s my lady.”

8) Wait a minute! HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!! Your WHO?!

9) Whoever she is, tell her: B*tch, it’s ON!

10) On top of this, you fail to comprehend why he’s wasting his time with that obnoxious, whiny diva.

11a) You beg God to let you be with a dude other than your dad…

11b)…Or your brother(s), if applicable.

12) You then start hitting Zumba classes trying to burn off Nutella and drop a jean size or two so you may still have a chance with him.

13) Meanwhile, you have tons of other sh*t to deal with: Exams, auditions, internships, yadda yadda yadda.

14) But, you know, whatevs. You two can still be legit bro and bro-ette for life!

1) You wish you could earn a dollar for each time you’ve been your own safety hazard.

2) You say the WRONG thing. About the WRONG person. At the WRONG time.

3) Letting you babysit someone’s child is pretty much a study on stupidity.

4) You’ve learned the hard way not to let your plans go awry, or you’ll make an innocent victim suffer.

5) Scratch that, YOU’RE the victim

6) You’ve mastered the art of “Making a Klutzy Entrance.”

7) Not to mention your hate-loathe relationship with stairs

8) During winter, you’re all like, “Ice, can you not?”

9) Everything goes into one ear and out the other. In less than 2 seconds.

10) But whatevs, you’ve grown to be a #ProudScatterbrain